Updates

It had been a long time since I update on myself…

It had always to be great to shine from glory to glory…

Working had been a huge grace over me…

I am graceful that I am offered a better job compared to the past few ones…

I am happy working at my previous companies but more joyous to be where I am now…

Working in a familiar place and having wonderful frenz whom will drop mi along the way or sent me back…

I am happy that I am moving on life pretty well…

@ Least no longer looking back into the past and moving on a new life…

Who will expect me to have a heavy burden behind me…

I know many have been asking me, why are you not furthering your studies but working..?

All I could answer is that if you were in my shoes…

You would have no choice but accept the fact that you go to play the part…

If you do not know, all I could say is whom on earth will like me… owning a flat under your name @ my age whom is not married…?

Yes… it is a heavy burden…

But I am happy about that as I get to have a say in the flat and I could decorate my room the way I wants it to be with no objection..!

Haha…

I am young but I am considered better than many whom are still struggling out there to find a job…

I am thankful for all…

I am also amaze by the wonder that the lord have been doing in life for the 2 – 3 months after my recovery…

Anyway, dudes out there…

I am finally back on tracks to run marathons and long distance running…

Missed the registration of the Nike human run…

Will do that next year with the Mizuno and new balance real run…

Keeping myself fit and healthy…

J

But I feel what most important to me now is to overcome my fear of riding a bicycle again…

Gaining the confident back….

Cheers ppl…

Ada

Happening June..

It had been a long time since I have updated my blog…
Had the worst or happening june…
Was jobless… not only that I was also on medical leave…
Hahas… dun really need to tell in detailed…

Hmm… wad so happening…
I attended this year youth camp of my church…
It was awesome and fun even though I was injured…
But I managed to help and do some things…
I had great fun…
Not only that I feels how the handicap feels too…
And not only that, from recovery to now…
I am awaiting for July…
A new beginning and a fresh start in work…
Can’t believe how things is going in my life…

Hmm… after looking and going thru so much things…
I learn and step into a new phrase of life…
I had suffered and learn so much things in life…
And after so much things…
I had to say I had grown up after going thru so much things…

And the next thing that is looking forward is the end of the year…
I am going to run Standard Chartered no matter what…
And besides that I can’t await for december to come…
Would want to arrange a small celebration with my closest buddy and pals…

Cheers,
Ada.

Lost

hmm…
I really wonder how many people have went thru what I went thru these days…
Let me explain myself..
I lost my job on 14 April 2009, at the same time I lost my keys on the very day.
And I have share with many about my sorrow over my lost keys…
I have did my best searching for it and even prayed for it…
But nothing happened…
Over the past few days, I have given up the hope on looking for it…
I then made a new set of keys…
But out of the blue or I should say…
This morning while I was still sleeping…
My sister smack me wake up…
I was like blur and shouted what the hell!
Then she showed me my brunch of lost keys…
I then shocked out of my life and asked her where she found it…
She told me it was @ her CD Pouch…
I was like WHAT! WHEN AND WHERE THE HELL IT WENT THERE FOR!
Then my bro concluded that i took my sis cds before so likely I ve left it there
But I remembered very clearly that I din have the time to touch my sis stuff…
Gosh…

But anyway… I am delighted…
Hope finding a job will be like this lost keys…
Hope it is coming soon…
A perfect job…

Thanks for those whom showered their concern over me…
I appreciate all the care your have for me…
Thanks a lot!!!

Hmm oh ya…
Any1 want to join me for the SHAPE run…
is only 5KM or 10 KM …
Not a marathon after all…
If interested… sign up for it tmr…!!!
TMR IS THE EARLY BIRD SIGN UP SPECIAL!!!
Go for it my babes…

Cheers,
Ada

Unspeakable heart…

Hmm…
Guys thanks for all your concern…
I know you all are there behind me…
but at times i feel how trusted are your at times…
when I din want to let your help me to spread the news after all…
Why must your be the ones spreading the news for me…
I feel when it is time I will let your know…
So don’t ask me further more!

Anyway… over the past 1 & e half months @ there i am after all happy…
My time spending to meet and know new friends was great…
I am thankful that I leave the horrible place…
No life…
Full of struggle just to meet deadline like hell…
And the worse is that I don’t or do not even know what the hell was going on…
God knows how much I have tried and fail…
Failing down is just nothing or no more feeling to me…

My life is not just happy times…
But more of falling down…
YES at times I feel I am a totally failure…
I never feel that I can do anything well…
Forever being and helping but no ones appreciate…
I really wonder how much appreciated my help…
I believe none or should say can be counted!
Life are like that…
When you are good or famous…
Many will come to you…
But when you are @ your dullest time…
No one is there to help you or even sent a hand to help you…
All fly and run away…

But any way I am used to it…
My life is a loner…
have many friends but none are true friends…
all are just passerby…

I am just happy to be whom am I…
What ever happens to me…
I believe…
All that I need to account is not my friends…
But is my parents and family…

Who really knows how I feel or even went thru what I was…
Yes many may tell me…
Ya I feel for u…

Whatever is it…
I am determine and made up my mind…
Creative is not a profession for me…
But i will be my hobbies and leisure….
I will be heading to move on to another profession
be it what…
your will soon find out soon…
my life is in my had…
My trust is no one…

in 5 years time….
I want to see myself to be where i wanted to be…

Cheers,
Ada…

Back & Alive…

It have been a long time since I last updated my blog…
I have been heavily busy…
I have found a full time job…
Cool then i have been almost completing my 1st month of working…
I never been so tired and busy…
Lost all my life…
I miss drinking & meeting up rodney for this march holidays…
I am trying hard to train myself up for the upcoming sundown.

It had been a joyous to work in this company…
1st of all… I am given the chance to expose my creativity to the maximum…
I have a boss whom work efficiently and prompt to meeting deadlines…
Not only that, I experience many things in this company.
I have been tied down with many confidential and really experiencing what guys going thru for the two years of NS.

My greatest experience is coming back from with four bruises after climbing a tank… And being disturb by guys whom are so desperate to get into a relationship. But is also the fun time with they where we disturb one another.

Hmm… anyway my work area is in the another part of the world… is one end to another end. All I hope is two things… 1st – the circle lines to be ready soon. 2nd – I get my license and afford for a car. So I do not need to wake up that early to go to work and also can travel around. The pros and cons for a car.

Next week is OP’s 10th Anniversary…
Can’t wait to go back n see what they have for speech day…

See ya…

Cheers,
Ada.

Lost; miserable…

hmm…
it had been ages since I last blog…
Over the month…
Many things had happen…
But only some knows what happen…

Anyway,
I din expect much…
after the 1st week of feb…
I had been looking for a job…
I spent a week sending out resumes to companies for job applications…
none replied me until last week…

I went for 2 interview…
the 1st interview…
I screwed it up…
y?
is because i din like the environment and is not a calling for me to work there…
hmm…
but for the 2nd interview i went…
I inspect the environment…
n find it a place that I wanted to be in…
So I prayed after that interview…
I will make it for the 2nd one…
Indeed on thurs… I made it for the 2nd interview… Praise the lord…
Indeed I felt that place in a calling from God to make wonders over the marketplace he is placing me in…
Looking forward to start work on 2nd mar….

Hmm…
anyway, I felt I am in the lost…
I realli don’t get wad you wan…
U 1st told me you dun wan to get into any relationship…
But now you are some how confessing to me you like me…
what you realli one…
I do not know…
I felt you are making mi in the lost…
I sometime hate you… as i felt u are toying with my feeling for u…
I dun noe how could i trust your words…

Cheers,
Ada.

Loving; Thank you.

Hmm…
It’s seem long since I last blog…
From I last blog till now…
Many things had happen…

From end of Jan till now…
I have officially ended my Poly life…
Begin of my work life…
Looking and hunting for a job I like is not easy…
It really needs a lot of time and patience…

Over the past few days…
On 2 Feb – I cleared my Report…
On 3 Feb – I cleared my Presentation…
On 6 – 8 Feb – I cleared my Graduation Showcase!!
Within a week and I cleared my final lap…

Looking back since 1 Jan to now…
A struggle I was in…
And at point to point of time…
I did ask and where was my daddy in heaven…
He wasn’t with me during this point of time…
I was left alone…
I trusted in him but he wasn’t there for me…
I was disappointed…
I was really helpless…
I was there suffering and where was him?

Since then from I last went to church till now…
I have no desire to go back to church…
I have no desire to go for service…
I have no desire to go for morning or evening prayer…
I hope my trust and hope that I used to have for my daddy in heaven…

During my Graduation Showcase…
I given out a number of my namecard out to people…
In return…
No news of job…
Over the 2 days…
I sent out my resume to jobs that I like and I want to go for…

Anyway,
Buddy… My dear….
Thanks for being there for me when I needed someone…
Thanks for being my support in this period of time…
Thanks for showering me with love, care and concern…

Cheers,
Ada

Gone…

Haix…
I did it again…
Is once again so dumb of me…
I just don’t know why I did it again…
Oh…
No….
Haix…

Hmm…
Sorry that I once again shock you again…
I meant there wasn’t anything or need to hide anymore…
Anyway, I am thankful we are still friends now…

Haix…
Looking forward to end my misery…
Everything will come to an end by next week…
Free and awaits for graduation…
2nd Feb is report submission
3rd Feb is Presentation

A “good deed” I did yesterday to my brother…
Hahas…
Feed him with answer for his comprehension that I did it before…
And ya…
Help him to rephrase those using own words…
Not bad that my comprehension skill is still that good…

Cheers,
Ada.

Sorry…

It had been a week long or even longer…
No one knows…
I could count back on how many church service I had missed…
I am like miss out in so many things that is happening in CG…
Lost but yet unfound…
No one had really felt that I was missing I guess…
It seems normal to them already…

I feel and felt my FYP was doom to fail…
I have no longer any mood to salvage what had happen…
I am no longer persevering onto working and finishing it…
I am out to give up everything…
My team…
I think they have lost hope back then…
But all I could do is to finish up what is left to do…
My fire had burned off…
My hope had gone…
My driving force had been lost…
I am back slacking…
No more driving force to finish it up…
Will power had lost…
All gone…

My CNY was burn…
I never felt it was CNY either…
I am rushing my report at the same thing got to help my mum…
I think this year is the worse CNY I ever had…
I hate this year CNY deeply…
Is like hell out of me…
I have no life before CNY and even during CNY…
What is this…
I have nothing to say be is freaking no life for me…
Not only that…
My 21st birthday was equally the same…
I am not going to celebrate anymore my birthday…
Is just a freaking same old day for me…
Who cares if it is a special day…
I have no more reaction to all this…
But to friends out there…
Your birthday will be remembered for sure…

To you…
I am no longer persisting on anything…
I am not asking for anything…
I am just trying to pen down my thoughts, my feeling…
I am not even think of anything that will happen…
If you think by avoiding me will be the best solution…
So be it…
I will not say anything more…
I am sorry but you are still someone precious to me…
A person whom will comfortable to share with…
A person whom will listen to me when I needed a listener…
I thank you for all that…
You are a wonderful encourager to me…
But I am sorry if I have disappointed you…

If you were here in my shoes…
You will truly understand how and why I felt this way…
I am still trying to drive myself to work even harder…
But it is just not working…
What else I could do…
I am sorry that I am looking at it as a failure…
I am like a failure, no only now but since young…
I can be smart but I failed in many other ways…
I have been through many ups and downs…
Countless of times…
I seems to be a born failure every time when I get to hit the peak…
The next moment will be my failure…
I got to believe in that…
As it is always the case…

I am sorry that I am once again drowning my blog…
I could be a role model to some out there…
But I could not be all the time…
I am still a failure whom tried hard to salvage everything but still can’t do much after all…
No one out there is telling me I am a failure…
But I do know I am one…

Back emo-ing…
Leave me alone…
I am always like that all the time when such things happens…
It’s always me…
Never will change…
If you think I will, you can try me by all means…

Hate who I am…
Where I am…
What I am…

Washing off everything that is on me…
Leaving off the life I used to be…
Walking the path which will come to an end…
Bidding Goodbye…

Cheers,
Ada

Given up my all

It had been long since I last updated my blog…
I felt that I am screw up…
My life…
My final year project…
I felt that I am no longer able to take it anymore…
I am dying for sleep…
I felt of giving up what and where I am struck at now…
Who really cares about me…
Do you think my parents give a damm if I pass or fail my Final Year Project…
Do you think my life anyone whom care?
Do you think I really bother what you look at me?
I am nothing afterall.
I am no one to you either.
I fail to meet all the things I plan out for.
My life is screwed and I hate my damm team…
Have you ever think that on 1st day of CNY and you are not going to bai nian but going to school…
Ya…
Idiot rite…
My footage for my video production is lost and I got to redo everything
And I am damm late for submittion.
Not only that the worse thing is that I din back up…
Haix…
Dying to kill myself for it…
I am damm freaking unlucky…

Anyway my dear,
Thanks for being there hearing my whinning and also rubbish…

Not in mind to do anything…
My shoulder is killing me…
In pain, but I can’t do anything after all …
I am just killing myself indirectly…
Who really cares for me…
I doubt no one…
I am just no one to many…
I am just walking the path alone…
I am hating myself…
Kill me if you want to…
I screwed up everything…

I want to tell you I still love you deep down…
But how late it is I don’t know…
But I feel that we are not able or chance to be together is ZERO…
I am still glad that you are there when I needed some comfort…
I am glad that you are still trying to make me preserve on even I know I can’t…
I thank you for all that you have done…
I miss those time of sharing with you after all…
It is really a great time chatting…
I know you cared for me…
But is no longer like the past…
But I still want to say…
I still love you and sorry for the past…

Cheers,
Ada.